Archive for September, 2011

Same As It Ever Was

Considering Nate’s Mommy refuses to sign up for Facebook and Nate’s Daddy does not yet have a “smart” phone, I should probably not link to this Onion article with such unbridled zeal:

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation

RENTON, WA—Local man Paul Campbell confirmed Saturday he was raising his daughter Emma on a variety of media carefully selected to help her cultivate an appreciation for artistic quality, a move that will reportedly put the 12-year-old girl hopelessly out of touch with her generation.

Perusing his music and film collections and showing reporters distinctive, well-regarded works that will thoroughly alienate Emma from her sixth-grade classmates, Campbell said he wanted to make sure his daughter enjoyed the benefits of a cultural education he never received at her age.

“Back then, I listened to junk like Journey and watched crappy movies like Iron Eagle,” the 41-year-old said in reference to popular music and films of the 1980s that allowed him to have something to talk about with friends. “I wish my own dad had turned me on to the good stuff, so I wouldn’t have had to wait until I was in my 20s before I started digging anything halfway decent.”

“Well, I’m not making the same mistake he did,” Campbell continued as he pulled out vinyl copies of Television’s Marquee Moon, Miles Davis’ Sketches Of Spain, and Big Star’s #1 Record, highly influential albums that will in no way help his daughter interact with her peers at a particularly delicate time in her social development. “There’s a lot of cool stuff out there, and it’s never too early to start learning what’s worth your time. I’m just glad I have the know-how to guide her.”

So what are they saying? That me putting the Pixies 1991 Brixton Academy performance on repeat isn’t going to make Nate a high school chick magnet? Maybe. Maybe not. But that one emo girl in his art class is going to freakin’ love him.

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To date none of Nathan’s grandparents have asked about his uncircumcised penis. As in, no one has said, “Hey, what’s up with your kid’s weiner?” Or, “Hey, when did you guys become dirty hippies?” Or, “Hey, aren’t you worried that the only role models he’ll have growing up are European porn stars?”

All (in)valid concerns. But it’s worth pointing out that unsnipped American boys are becoming the norm:

Steep Drop Seen in Circumcisions in U.S.

Hospital circumcision rates are down, according to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report — and there doesn’t seem to be any clear reason.

The report from the center’s weekly report on morbidity and mortality showed that, depending on what numbers you used, hospital circumcision rates from 1999 to 2008 dropped from 62.5% to 56.9% (National Hospital Discharge Survey) or from 63.5% to 56.3% (Nationwide Inpatient Sample). And according to SDIHealth, from 2001 to 2010 the rates dropped from 58.4% to 54.7%.

You can read more here, here, and here.

Finally, because our previous conversations about circumcision got a wee bit contentious, I’ll leave you with a joke:

MG: Hey, did you know they use foreskins for replacing eyelids?

JG: No they don’t.

MG: Yeah, they do.

JG: Come on, really?

MG: Yeah, but afterward you tend to look a bit cock-eyed.

Internet high five for the first person who guesses who “MG” is.

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