Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

Coming (un)Attractions

In lieu of the fact that my most popular posts are the ones that-might-possibly-maybe-if-you-read-only-the-title be about sex, I’ve decided to publish those nude photos of myself after all. So come back Monday for a real eyeful. If you would, please keep the comments respectable. And by respectable I mean that you should lie.

By the way, I need to write a check for rent. What’s today’s date again?

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Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everyone. I used to live in a state that celebrated Robert E. Lee’s birthday instead, but there’s no use crying over spilled racism.

Why not celebrate your work-free day by going out and doing something nice for someone? Like that stupid Liberty Mutual commercial. Only without the ulterior motive of selling people life insurance.

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Happy Holidays, everyone! I had planned to post some tips and tricks for traveling with an infant. But that was before Leigh Ann, Nate, and I endured 12 hours of security lines, unexpected layovers, and oh-my-god-I’m-gonna-die turbulence. Now I have but one tip for “traveling with an infant”:

1) Don’t.

It has nothing to do with having an infant. It has to do with traveling. Don’t do it, fool. It’s not worth it. If your relatives want to see you, they can buy the foreclosed crack house next door. Unless that’s where you purchase your crack, in which case they can buy the foreclosed crack house on the other side. If you purchase your crack from both locations, then, really, it’s time to make up your mind.

But all this talk of crack is probably obscuring the true meaning of Christmas. So let’s have a look at some folks who’ve decorated their houses in a way that shows they’re truly in the spirit. Or that they smoke crack.

More here. See you in 2011, everyone!

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